Emma

Much of my life at the moment revolves around the schedule of my husband's 83 year old mother Emma. It used to revolve around the schedule of our sons as they grew. They grew up so fast. 18 years of their upbringing our family chose to home educate. That filled our schedule with many dates for sports, plays, and other school events. Many think home schoolers are home all the time NOT!...but those years are done and I yet may blog from chapters during that season...for now life is about Emma.

Emma is in a wheel chair because of a stroke she had in 1991. My sister-in-law Liz moved in and cared for her in the childhood home when Emma came home from the nursing home. Liz raised her kids and worked and one Easter told my husband and his brother (her brothers) "I cannot do this anymore". We took her home that day and for 6 months my husband spend any spare moment restoring the family home. At that point Liz had moved out of that home into a modular home with her family behind that dwelling. We moved Emma in with a care giver, a family friend 6 months later. We managed for the next 5 years off and on to keep Emma in "her house". It is waht she wanted but keeping some one in that home to care for Emma full time is not easy. My husband's brother and Liz over saw things because of how close they lived to the home. We live about one hour away from this house so we would come in for relief when needed.

One day in 2008 we just knew that keeping Emma in this house would not work. She was not doing well, losing weight, not happy. We kept getting phone calls that "we had to do something!" Emma was not at all pleased about this decision and at first was angry that her children would take her away from her "house". Emma has always been a simple minded kind of thinker, slower then most but yet sharp-she likes to be in charge but at the same time does not understand all the ways her family was caring for her. She became depressed and after her 1st panic attack and an ER visit we questioned if we were going to continue being able to have her live with us. The case worker at Area Agency on Aging recommended we try an Adult Day Care that had opened up near our home called Sarah Care.

One day while Emma's aide as at the house I stopped by Sarah Care. It is about 8 miles from our house. I am so glad I did. Having Emma go there is a win, win for all involved. They are geared to care for the elderly and other adults during the day to give their loved ones a much needed break. Emma goes 4 days a week from 10am to 4pm. I plan my time around getting her up and out the door. Some days I go back home and clean or just sleep when I need to. Other days I take my lap top out to high speed to catch up on stuff (we have dial up at home). I also do food shopping as well when she is there and one day a week volunteer at our church in the music office. One day a week Emma has an aide that comes to our home. Sonja came before we learned about Sarah Care. Sonja helps with stuff at home with Emma's room. I also have help from our sons that still live at home.

Our unemployed son, Philip is a big help with Emma at night when we get home. He is her favorite and he is able to cover her care during evening times, when Otis and I need to go on a date as well as when we get opportunity to go some where over night. I don't know how long Philip will be with us. He has been looking for a job for over a year and currently unemployment is helping him catch up with some bills while he helps us with her care. When that runs out obviously we will need to cross that bridge a little later.

I also manage Emma's medications and doctor visits. I do not know what the future will bring with her care. She is getting more frail but for now we take her to Sarah Care 4 days a week which is amazing. Working through all issues with Emma for me personally is still in progress. It is only by God's grace that she is even in our home. When we first married she hated me. I was not too fond her either. Oh so many levels we have worked through already and the future of her care will involved more and more of my time. I thought by now I would be working, something I looked forward to but working is not an option until Emma passes away. What kind of care will I do when she is more frail? Hard to say...but for now it is what it is and part of the blogs will be how I deal with the new role as Care giver....