Thursday, December 3, 2009
Snow
Snow is a reality here in Michigan. There are times I love it and yes there have been times where it has caused me a great deal of stress because of driving in bad conditions. In fact the fear of driving in the winter used to paralyze me. I would watch weather forecasts with dred fearing future driving times on bad roads. I remember gripping the steering wheel praying-shaking even as our sons talked in the background..."shhhh!" I would say "Mommy is trying to drive on the bad roads"...well..I am very happy to say that no longer does the snow move me other then awe in it's beauty. God had really helped me through this fear. Even in the ice I just know I will be safe. There was one really bad February in 2008 when Daniel was in a play way over on the other side of town. The director would have rehearsal in the blizzard even when everything else was closed but we made it-driving very slow but we made it and when I drove I drove totally relaxed knowing I would get home safe. The dred and fear tries to come back...usually after the first drive I am fine...next week I am going with my husband to Ohio for 5 days. Who knows how the road will be for us and then there is the boys here at home who will be dealing with snow here with the trips taking Emma to the adult day care plus one son going back and forth to school...I must admit that in getting ready I have had to push back that dred feeling. It is good to remind myself just how far I have come with snow....
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Thanksgiving
I like hosting Thanksgiving...it is the most cooking that I do since we usually go up to my sister-in-law's on Christmas. For many years we have had it just with our family because Otis's family prefer celebrating this day on their own which was perfectly fine for us. Occasionally Liz, my hubbies sister would drive down to join us. During the years she cared for Emma it was dual purpose-she would drop her off and she would stay with us the whole weekend because the day AFTER Thanksgiving is shopping day and I would take Emma out to get it all done in one day. Because I had all the leftovers it was nice for Otis and the boys to have food here at home while we were out shopping. She has returned to coming to our home for Thanksgiving with her 2 sons and fiance. This will be Jim's 2nd time in our home so we are getting to know him and this year Daniel is looking forward to serving Jim coffee from Starbucks he had me buy-Thanksgiving blend. Emma of course is looking forward to seeing Liz again and this year for the first time in as long as I can remember we will NOT be going over the shopping flyers from the paper to plan a Friday shopping time. I am actually looking forward to staying out of the stores tomorrow, which surprises me really.
It seems that as we get older, as our children grow the traditions we started when they were younger sometimes change. Our sons are all men now. Peter and Deana have been married for 7 years and for now they switch off and come to our home every other year. One of these years they will bring their children here. Daniel moved out this summer and is back in town for now. Today he came over to help clean for tomorrow, which was so cool. He is a little more sentimental about our family traditions and we talked about Thanksgiving times that we have already had. For me I will treasure the years that all 4 of our sons share this meal with us knowing that it is not too far off where we may be alone on Thanksgiving as they celebrate it in a different location or with their spouse's family. There may be a time where we will go to their home instead. It seems as we get older, we treasure times with them more.
Otis celebrated just one Thanksgiving with my parents and siblings. It was just a few weeks before we married in 1980. We had no idea at the time that it would be our last...my mother passed away September of 1981...so I guess I have learned to treasure family times....
I need to get some sleep....turkey goes in the oven at 8am!!
It seems that as we get older, as our children grow the traditions we started when they were younger sometimes change. Our sons are all men now. Peter and Deana have been married for 7 years and for now they switch off and come to our home every other year. One of these years they will bring their children here. Daniel moved out this summer and is back in town for now. Today he came over to help clean for tomorrow, which was so cool. He is a little more sentimental about our family traditions and we talked about Thanksgiving times that we have already had. For me I will treasure the years that all 4 of our sons share this meal with us knowing that it is not too far off where we may be alone on Thanksgiving as they celebrate it in a different location or with their spouse's family. There may be a time where we will go to their home instead. It seems as we get older, we treasure times with them more.
Otis celebrated just one Thanksgiving with my parents and siblings. It was just a few weeks before we married in 1980. We had no idea at the time that it would be our last...my mother passed away September of 1981...so I guess I have learned to treasure family times....
I need to get some sleep....turkey goes in the oven at 8am!!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Cell phones
Today I managed 2 cell phones. Mine and the one my husband left home. His rang this morning before I left with Emma. It was another engineer from Florida. I answered, "Hi, Otis left his cell phone at home-I am his wife, can I help you?" He was amused and asked for me to if possible leave a message for Otis to call him on his cell as he was leaving. So.....later on my cell phone as I sat in the credit union parking lot, I learned that they had connected. Ahh cell phones..how did we get along with out them?
Getting to this place took some convincing my husband. It was until his job paid for his phone that we entered into the "family plan" ourselves. Our sons oh course use theirs more to call, and text and do way more then I do. I use mine to stay in touch with them and my husband.
I am sure we could live without a cell phone-we did before but I really love having them. I love having facebook stuff come to my phone. I manage which one of my friends have their status reports come of course. My siblings (I am the oldest of 6) now have Facebooks and when they do a status, it comes to my cell phone. Facebook is how I hear from my younger brothers. A fun memory is my youngest brother wishing me a Happy Mother's Day on Facebook and it of course came to my phone and I read it...how cool is that??
I am not a text heavy person but texting has helped me get ahold of a son when I need it-learn when they will be home as well as answer their questions when they have them.
We renew our contract in March. Just today I was talking with our youngest son what will next for me. He of course is gearing up to do the Iphone....that may be too much for me---I want a phone that I can take good pictures on..post them on Facebook..and text a little...don't need a bunch of gadgets. Yep cell phones.. part of every day life.
Getting to this place took some convincing my husband. It was until his job paid for his phone that we entered into the "family plan" ourselves. Our sons oh course use theirs more to call, and text and do way more then I do. I use mine to stay in touch with them and my husband.
I am sure we could live without a cell phone-we did before but I really love having them. I love having facebook stuff come to my phone. I manage which one of my friends have their status reports come of course. My siblings (I am the oldest of 6) now have Facebooks and when they do a status, it comes to my cell phone. Facebook is how I hear from my younger brothers. A fun memory is my youngest brother wishing me a Happy Mother's Day on Facebook and it of course came to my phone and I read it...how cool is that??
I am not a text heavy person but texting has helped me get ahold of a son when I need it-learn when they will be home as well as answer their questions when they have them.
We renew our contract in March. Just today I was talking with our youngest son what will next for me. He of course is gearing up to do the Iphone....that may be too much for me---I want a phone that I can take good pictures on..post them on Facebook..and text a little...don't need a bunch of gadgets. Yep cell phones.. part of every day life.
Food shopping
I am a once a week food shopper. I have gone on different days depending upon the schedule and what was going on in our lives at the time. Food shopping day needs to be on a day that Emma goes to Sarah Care. Tuesday is the day I picked to do this and with choir on Tuesday night it makes for a busy LONG day. Right now Philip is home to help bring in the groceries when I arrive home and sometimes I will send him to go get Emma so I can rest up or finish putting stuff away because soon I leave again for choir.
The menu I make is based on our schedule, when I will be home to cook, what is on sale and who will be home when. When the boys are gone it is just Otis, Emma and I so those meals are not as large as when all of us are home. Making that menu every week is a struggle. I get in ruts when I make the same stuff every time and then there is the whole eating healthy issue that we are needing to really deal with because we are so over weight. I work on not buying bad health choice stuff and just having the food in the house that we need to have for meals-no snacks and then I see my husband and the boys searching for stuff to eat after we have eaten dinner. That frustrates me because I want to help them and then when I get accused of "what do you buy?" well...it is just makes this process so frustrating at times as I serve my family in this area.
Today I will be buying the stuff for the Thanksgiving meal. The Turkey is bought and defrosting in the fridge-the rest of the stuff is on my list. Oh I do a menu and list on my computer. On the top of the menu I have the schedule. That is on one side and the list is on the other side. I do that because sometimes when I am out and if something is not available at the store or I cannot find something I change the menu or switch things around or if I run out of food money it is good to know the rest of the weeks schedule to know when I come home that there is enough food to cover all the meals of that week.
Emma also gives me money for her stuff. She does get money from her son for things she likes. She will buy the stuff for breakfast she has, she eats at Sarah Care for Lunch and then she shares what I prepare for dinner. Her stuff is her cookies, tea, coffee, klennex, oatmeal, cereal and creamer. She has some meals she likes to have for the weekend. Liver, chicken legs, and pork steak and the ever popular pickled bologna which Daniel now loves too. So I have her list that I get her. Every Tuesday the MOMENT she gets home she has to see all that I bought her, how much she spent and where it is at. She has a whole cabinet of her stuff in our island and it is ALWAYS packed with stuff-she is a hoarder-her room is another blog subject for later.
I also buy the cleaning stuff and cat food as well every week. So it is a busy day-shopping day and once I am done I do not need to go to the store again until the next week. For that I am thankful!! OK...time to finish working on the list...
The menu I make is based on our schedule, when I will be home to cook, what is on sale and who will be home when. When the boys are gone it is just Otis, Emma and I so those meals are not as large as when all of us are home. Making that menu every week is a struggle. I get in ruts when I make the same stuff every time and then there is the whole eating healthy issue that we are needing to really deal with because we are so over weight. I work on not buying bad health choice stuff and just having the food in the house that we need to have for meals-no snacks and then I see my husband and the boys searching for stuff to eat after we have eaten dinner. That frustrates me because I want to help them and then when I get accused of "what do you buy?" well...it is just makes this process so frustrating at times as I serve my family in this area.
Today I will be buying the stuff for the Thanksgiving meal. The Turkey is bought and defrosting in the fridge-the rest of the stuff is on my list. Oh I do a menu and list on my computer. On the top of the menu I have the schedule. That is on one side and the list is on the other side. I do that because sometimes when I am out and if something is not available at the store or I cannot find something I change the menu or switch things around or if I run out of food money it is good to know the rest of the weeks schedule to know when I come home that there is enough food to cover all the meals of that week.
Emma also gives me money for her stuff. She does get money from her son for things she likes. She will buy the stuff for breakfast she has, she eats at Sarah Care for Lunch and then she shares what I prepare for dinner. Her stuff is her cookies, tea, coffee, klennex, oatmeal, cereal and creamer. She has some meals she likes to have for the weekend. Liver, chicken legs, and pork steak and the ever popular pickled bologna which Daniel now loves too. So I have her list that I get her. Every Tuesday the MOMENT she gets home she has to see all that I bought her, how much she spent and where it is at. She has a whole cabinet of her stuff in our island and it is ALWAYS packed with stuff-she is a hoarder-her room is another blog subject for later.
I also buy the cleaning stuff and cat food as well every week. So it is a busy day-shopping day and once I am done I do not need to go to the store again until the next week. For that I am thankful!! OK...time to finish working on the list...
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sleep
As I type this my eyes are so wanting to go to sleep. It has been a long day and I have many long days ahead in preparation for Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. Tomorrow I am doing the rest of the food shopping for our dinner. My count we have 13 coming. All four of ours sons will be here and that does not happen every year. Otis's sister liz will coming down with her boyfriend Jim and Chris and Mike. We have a lot be thankful for...
Dial up
At home we have dial up for our internet. We live in an area where we cannot get a line. We are told it will be another few years before a line will be put on our road. We used to have Hughes Net when Ben worked on line but that job ended and we were not able to upkeep the $70 a month fee. Ben did find a dial up service that is free which works better with our budget! I have a lap top where I can take to a high speed location (library, coffee shop, etc) when I need to do things that require high speed so for now I guess I am learning patience. At least I can still blog on Dial up!!! SO I guess I have the best of both worlds.....
Emma
Much of my life at the moment revolves around the schedule of my husband's 83 year old mother Emma. It used to revolve around the schedule of our sons as they grew. They grew up so fast. 18 years of their upbringing our family chose to home educate. That filled our schedule with many dates for sports, plays, and other school events. Many think home schoolers are home all the time NOT!...but those years are done and I yet may blog from chapters during that season...for now life is about Emma.
Emma is in a wheel chair because of a stroke she had in 1991. My sister-in-law Liz moved in and cared for her in the childhood home when Emma came home from the nursing home. Liz raised her kids and worked and one Easter told my husband and his brother (her brothers) "I cannot do this anymore". We took her home that day and for 6 months my husband spend any spare moment restoring the family home. At that point Liz had moved out of that home into a modular home with her family behind that dwelling. We moved Emma in with a care giver, a family friend 6 months later. We managed for the next 5 years off and on to keep Emma in "her house". It is waht she wanted but keeping some one in that home to care for Emma full time is not easy. My husband's brother and Liz over saw things because of how close they lived to the home. We live about one hour away from this house so we would come in for relief when needed.
One day in 2008 we just knew that keeping Emma in this house would not work. She was not doing well, losing weight, not happy. We kept getting phone calls that "we had to do something!" Emma was not at all pleased about this decision and at first was angry that her children would take her away from her "house". Emma has always been a simple minded kind of thinker, slower then most but yet sharp-she likes to be in charge but at the same time does not understand all the ways her family was caring for her. She became depressed and after her 1st panic attack and an ER visit we questioned if we were going to continue being able to have her live with us. The case worker at Area Agency on Aging recommended we try an Adult Day Care that had opened up near our home called Sarah Care.
One day while Emma's aide as at the house I stopped by Sarah Care. It is about 8 miles from our house. I am so glad I did. Having Emma go there is a win, win for all involved. They are geared to care for the elderly and other adults during the day to give their loved ones a much needed break. Emma goes 4 days a week from 10am to 4pm. I plan my time around getting her up and out the door. Some days I go back home and clean or just sleep when I need to. Other days I take my lap top out to high speed to catch up on stuff (we have dial up at home). I also do food shopping as well when she is there and one day a week volunteer at our church in the music office. One day a week Emma has an aide that comes to our home. Sonja came before we learned about Sarah Care. Sonja helps with stuff at home with Emma's room. I also have help from our sons that still live at home.
Our unemployed son, Philip is a big help with Emma at night when we get home. He is her favorite and he is able to cover her care during evening times, when Otis and I need to go on a date as well as when we get opportunity to go some where over night. I don't know how long Philip will be with us. He has been looking for a job for over a year and currently unemployment is helping him catch up with some bills while he helps us with her care. When that runs out obviously we will need to cross that bridge a little later.
I also manage Emma's medications and doctor visits. I do not know what the future will bring with her care. She is getting more frail but for now we take her to Sarah Care 4 days a week which is amazing. Working through all issues with Emma for me personally is still in progress. It is only by God's grace that she is even in our home. When we first married she hated me. I was not too fond her either. Oh so many levels we have worked through already and the future of her care will involved more and more of my time. I thought by now I would be working, something I looked forward to but working is not an option until Emma passes away. What kind of care will I do when she is more frail? Hard to say...but for now it is what it is and part of the blogs will be how I deal with the new role as Care giver....
Emma is in a wheel chair because of a stroke she had in 1991. My sister-in-law Liz moved in and cared for her in the childhood home when Emma came home from the nursing home. Liz raised her kids and worked and one Easter told my husband and his brother (her brothers) "I cannot do this anymore". We took her home that day and for 6 months my husband spend any spare moment restoring the family home. At that point Liz had moved out of that home into a modular home with her family behind that dwelling. We moved Emma in with a care giver, a family friend 6 months later. We managed for the next 5 years off and on to keep Emma in "her house". It is waht she wanted but keeping some one in that home to care for Emma full time is not easy. My husband's brother and Liz over saw things because of how close they lived to the home. We live about one hour away from this house so we would come in for relief when needed.
One day in 2008 we just knew that keeping Emma in this house would not work. She was not doing well, losing weight, not happy. We kept getting phone calls that "we had to do something!" Emma was not at all pleased about this decision and at first was angry that her children would take her away from her "house". Emma has always been a simple minded kind of thinker, slower then most but yet sharp-she likes to be in charge but at the same time does not understand all the ways her family was caring for her. She became depressed and after her 1st panic attack and an ER visit we questioned if we were going to continue being able to have her live with us. The case worker at Area Agency on Aging recommended we try an Adult Day Care that had opened up near our home called Sarah Care.
One day while Emma's aide as at the house I stopped by Sarah Care. It is about 8 miles from our house. I am so glad I did. Having Emma go there is a win, win for all involved. They are geared to care for the elderly and other adults during the day to give their loved ones a much needed break. Emma goes 4 days a week from 10am to 4pm. I plan my time around getting her up and out the door. Some days I go back home and clean or just sleep when I need to. Other days I take my lap top out to high speed to catch up on stuff (we have dial up at home). I also do food shopping as well when she is there and one day a week volunteer at our church in the music office. One day a week Emma has an aide that comes to our home. Sonja came before we learned about Sarah Care. Sonja helps with stuff at home with Emma's room. I also have help from our sons that still live at home.
Our unemployed son, Philip is a big help with Emma at night when we get home. He is her favorite and he is able to cover her care during evening times, when Otis and I need to go on a date as well as when we get opportunity to go some where over night. I don't know how long Philip will be with us. He has been looking for a job for over a year and currently unemployment is helping him catch up with some bills while he helps us with her care. When that runs out obviously we will need to cross that bridge a little later.
I also manage Emma's medications and doctor visits. I do not know what the future will bring with her care. She is getting more frail but for now we take her to Sarah Care 4 days a week which is amazing. Working through all issues with Emma for me personally is still in progress. It is only by God's grace that she is even in our home. When we first married she hated me. I was not too fond her either. Oh so many levels we have worked through already and the future of her care will involved more and more of my time. I thought by now I would be working, something I looked forward to but working is not an option until Emma passes away. What kind of care will I do when she is more frail? Hard to say...but for now it is what it is and part of the blogs will be how I deal with the new role as Care giver....
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